Avez-vous vu passer dans votre fil d’actualité les commentaires hilarants sur la page Amazon des oursons en gelée sans sucre du fabricant européen Haribo? Non? Voici des extraits de quelques perles, pour vous mettre au « parfum ».

*Attention, cœurs sensibles s’abstenir*

« BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I’ve ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I’ve had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell…the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn’t stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there’s more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond) as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS. »

« I recently took my 4 year old son to his first NBA game. He was very excited to go to the game, and I was excited because we had fantastic seats. Row C center court to be exact. I’ve never sat that close before. I’ve never had to go DOWN stairs to get to my seats. 24 stairs to get to my seats to be exact.

His favorite candy is Skittles. Mine are anything gummy. I snuck in a bag of skittles for my son, and grabbed a handful of gummy bears for myself, to be later known as Satan’s Diarrhea Hate Bears, that I received for Christmas in bulk from my parents, and put them in a zip lock bag.

After the excitement of the 1st quarter has ended I take my son out to get him a bottled water and myself a beer. We return to our seats to enjoy our candy and drinks.

…………..fast forward until 1 minute before half time………..

I have begun to sweat a sweat that is only meant for a man on mile 19 of a marathon. I have kicked out my legs out so straight that I am violently pushing the gentleman wearing a suit seat in front of me forward. He is not happy, I do not care. My hands are on the side of my seat not unlike that of a gymnast on a pommel horse, lifting me off my chair. My son is oblivious to what is happening next to him, after all, there is a mascot running around somewhere and he is eating candy. »

« I ate 20, they tasted fine. 20 minutes later my stomach felt odd, like I had gas.  Thought no big deal until I soiled myself. How are these allowed to be sold? »

Et plus de 500 commentaires identiques s’y retrouvent… Certains jours où je me sens triste, j’aime retourner à cette page pour retrouver le sourire!

Évidemment, comme je trouve des opportunités d’éduquer en nutrition dans presque chaque situation, je me trouve dans l’obligation de vous expliquer pour quelle raison ces oursons de l’enfer provoquent une réaction explosive chez autant de gens.

Coupable : le maltitol

Voyez-vous, ces bonbons sans sucre goûtent tout de même sucré. L’édulcorant utilisé est la lycasine, dont le principal agent sucrant est le maltitol.

Le maltitol est un agent qui possède le même pouvoir sucrant que le sucre de table, mais contient la moitié moins de calories. Le petit problème est que les sucre-alcool, comme le maltitol,  lorsque consommés en trop grande quantité, causent plusieurs problèmes gastro-intestinaux, dont des flatulences, des douleurs et des diarrhées. Oups…

L’autre problème, c’est qu’ils sont vendus en sac de 5 livres! 5 livres! C’est 2267 grammes de bonbons, alors que le fabricant recommande de ne pas consommer plus de 40 grammes à la fois.

Bref, à moins de vouloir jouer un mauvais tour très cruel à quelqu’un, j’éviterais ces oursons venus de l’enfer!!

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